Confessions of a Homemaker

I don't know why, but I feel the need to confess a few things. Wait, don't panic! Nothing too horribly sinful. I just want to send them out into the blogging universe. :)

First Confession- I vowed, as a child, I would never deep clean my little girls room while she was at school. I remember getting so upset when my mom did this. Secretly, giving away those toys that I never played with or organizing my beloved "JUNK drawer".

Well, as a mother of a five year old who loves everything she has ever gotten, I now do this. I find myself doing it at least once a month. I used to wait until daddy took her out of the house. Since she has started school, it gives me a good two hours to get all those dust bunnies from under her bed. Granted Z-Z messes up as I clean up. He throughly enjoys discovering Zoey's normally off limit toys. What she doesn't know won't hurt her right? It cracks me up to see the cute treasures she keeps in her "JUNK drawer". I smiled as I found a handful of smooth rocks. All of which were shaped like perfect little hearts. Baseball cards, tinker bell wallet, princess wallet, tiny ziplocks full of change, wax animals from the zoo, slinkys, yo-yos, bouncy balls, birthday cards, seashells....well you get the idea.

I guess it is time I thanked my mom, for secretly cleaning my room all those years. Thanks mom! Maybe someday Zoebug will thank me too! Until, I hope she does notice the sack in the basement for Good Will.

Second Confession- At about 3:00 pm some days, I find myself needing a pick me up. I don't really like to drink soda, but have boughten me a 12 pack of... wait for it.... Diet Coke, but wait it is caffeine free! Sounds totally gross, at first it tasted totally gross, but if you need a quick lift I have found it works. I think it is a total placebo effect, but I figure I could do worse.

Third Confession- As a child whenever I would go into the basement, I would run down and back up as fast as I could. I was always nervous "something" would get me. I laughed the other day as I took a load of laundry down to run through. I found myself doing the same thing. I guess I still am afraid "something"from the deep depths of the basement is going to grab my ankles. Am I the only one who suffers from this. :)

Fourth Confession- I am plagued with guilt. Not just regular guilt. Toxic guilt. I have diagnosed myself and have really tried to let go of it. I guess, I just want to comic universe to know I am doing my best! I am a homebody, and really hate over scheduling. I don't know want the deal is, but lately I always feel like I am loosing control of "time". There are so many things I would like to do, and maybe should do.

For now, I am trying to remind myself the Good, Better, Best rule. President Oaks gave a talk in Nov 2007 I really liked it. Here's the link if you want to read the whole talk.

LDS.org - Liahona Article - Good, Better, Best

(We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.)

The First Presidency has called on parents “to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles. … The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place … in … this God-given responsibility.” The First Presidency has declared that “however worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform. Another great article from the Oct 2009 Ensign

By Jennifer Nuckols   states "While guilt or “godly sorrow” (2 Corinthians 7:10) can be a gift from God that inspires us to change and improve, Satan can also use guilt to demoralize us. Some people may not easily give in to large temptations, but if Satan can depress and immobilize those Saints through a false perception of their own unworthiness or inadequacies, then they become neutralized in the fight against evil. Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve (1926–2004) offered this comfort to those plagued by feelings of failure and excessive guilt:

“May I speak, not to the slackers in the Kingdom, but to those who carry their own load and more; not to those lulled into false security, but to those buffeted by false insecurity, who, though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling forever short. … There is a difference … between being ‘anxiously engaged’ and being over-anxious and thus underengaged. … We can distinguish more clearly between divine discontent and the devil’s dissonance, between dissatisfaction with self and disdain for self. We need the first and must shun the second, remembering that when conscience calls to us from the next ridge, it is not solely to scold but also to beckon.”6

As we honestly discern where we stand with God, we can eliminate the though 

Fifth Confession- I cook three pretty good squares a day. I try to use good healthy ingredients that everyone likes.  No matter what I fix my little CAVEMAN, will not eat his veggies and most forms of meat.  It drives me CRAZY! I really try not to be a short order chef, but when he won't eat I always give in to what he will eat. Can a kid live on PB& J sandwiches, apple sauce, cottage cheese, pancakes, mac and cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt,and baby mush? Yes, he will still eat yucky baby oatmeal and not a delicious home cooked meal. I hope it is just a phase.  He seems happy and healthy.  I better just not worry about it too much for now. 

Sixth Confession- Since we have lived in Indiana I crave the following foods from back home in Utah:  Dunford Chocolate Cake Donuts from 7 eleven, Tony's meatball sub, Topper Bakery Spritz cookies, Cream of Weber Milk Chocolate chugs, fruit from Pettingils Fruit stand to make peach tarts, and canned pears, a good old fashion roast dinner at moms house, and finally a sweet pork salad from Costa Vida.  None of these would be considered "healthy" but they remind me of good old O-town.  I have found out that the Deans chocolate milk they sell here in Indiana is very similar. :)

So... there you have it my silly confessions that have been weighing on my mind. I feel sooooo much better somehow. :) -Zara